My name is Julia Klein and I want to be a writer. I have to correct myself after the first sentence already: I am a writer – I just want to be read. To achieve this goal I recently joined a writing group: A bunch of people with diverse backgrounds sitting together either writing or talking about their work. On my way to the meet up I passed a church with the message: “Tonight the Lord is coming to your house” – TONIGHT?! I hope not! It is messy as hell – I don’t think he would feel any comfy there. And besides: since I started my new diet (AGAIN) there is neither barely anything to eat nor a bottle of beer in the fridge. Does God drink beer? Where would I find the answer to that question? Well, I am German, born and raised there and I left my country at the age of 29 – and I don’t drink beer. Maybe God is a vodka person like me? Or Jägermeister? I could do that. Although I have to pass on Jägerbombs – Red Bull makes me gag. As I imagine the Old Man and I sitting on my purple couch I think we would have a good time. In case he is really hungry I could grab a Little Cesar’s pizza – can’t beat the hot & ready deal for $5. I hope he is serious about the “tonight” in his statement. The meatless Friday thingy is an issue for me. I don’t like plain cheese pizza. It is kind of lame. Although if he insists on vegetarian style food – I am considering as a great host, so I am prepared for every case – there is a Jimmy Johns attached to my apartment complex. They have a vegetarian sub for sure. And even that I prefer Subway, I could arrange myself getting a BLT sandwich. Do you think this is too cheap? Well, what food would fit for a God? And besides: Isn’t it a bit rude to give less than a day notice? He never asked me if I was home. Again: My place is really messy. Haven’t done any severe cleaning since my last blender party. I came up with that term myself: a blender party is a low-key get together of friends and you throw booze, fruits, ice and juices and maybe some more booze in a blender. After blending it, the drinks are ready to be served. It is more a free style way of making drinks and no one has ever had the guts to complain in front of me – God would be the first one.
Don’t get me wrong: I am not making fun of God – Heaven forbids! I am a member of the Unitarian Universalist community and I believe in a higher power. In fact it would be rather cool to sit and chillax with the Old Man. I am sure he needs some “me” time as well. Just sit on my porch in my two rocking chairs, rocking and drinking and maybe watching the skunks that run around at night. Life is good in Buffalo Grove. I’d be happy to host any night of the week. I just don’t like to be threatened. And this is what this church is doing: Instead of spreading the good word, they are fooling your mind and overusing their power to place themselves into your life AND living room – or would you host God in your kitchen?
Reflecting this message didn’t help starting my new writing project – although it got me back into the grove of writing. Nevertheless it is almost time to leave our public meet up place and I am a bit thirsty. Maybe I get the blender ready (I do have some ripe bananas) and wait for whoever may come.
